Is the Techie in me dying?

When I was in college, I used to think (and almost still think) that coding was the ultimate thing a software engineer can do. A software engineer is born to code and only to code. Whenever any senior used to say that he/she is taking up MBA, I used to ask why (WHY!!). The typical answer was that he/she was bored of technical stuff. My and some of my friends always interpreted it as "man I cannot really code well". I used to declare them as losers.

One of my team mates and closest friends, Rohit is an MBA aspirant. Once we were having an interesting discussion over a cup of coffee. I was basically puzzled why on earth did he want to do an MBA. The main thing is that i know that he can code well and is also materializing it well into success. The thing is that I just could not brand him as a loser because i knew that he was a really good coder. I kept on asking him why,why (like a suspicous wife asks a husband "Sacchi batao kaun thi woh").(Shit this blog was supposed to be a non funny one). He simply said "bhai MBA toh karna hi karna hai."

I always wanted to be a hardcore techie, like the one they show in discovery channel. The one who can just create anything they like.I know very very few people who have taken up the computer engineering course because they liked to code. Rohit is among them.

I am an Application programmer. I always was curious to know what goes on inside the system. I had taken up the course of device driver programming to understand the intricacies of the system. But it was hugely disappointing course. Though I became aware of the internals. There was still a huge question ,so what? It had not satisfied my thirst. Not even a bit.

I decided to learn the internals in a very detailed way so that maybe it will solve the mystery in my head. I wanted a break so that i can study. The break came when I went to my native place for a week. I was waiting for it since almost 2 bloody months. My day finally came. I sat to study it bit by bit. It was filled with memory handling, the internals of scheduling. My stuff, so I thought. Strangely after reading every part the question in my mind was "so what" instead of "wow, gimme more". It looked more like "Yeah we are Microsoft. we felt this algorithm was right and we did it."



Now I will be having 2 years of experience in some time now. Last week i was sitting idle and shockingly i got inclined towards doing an MBA!! The thing which struck me was that I read a book from IIM press abt entrepreneurs who made it big. One of them said that he did it beacause he was a bit unhappy that his father after doing a job honestly all his life could not manage to buy a 2bhk at the end of his career. I was thinking whether this will happen with me too. That thing came as a jolt to me. It was a wakeup call. I immediately messaged my friend saying "IIM todenge"

Lateron I was having lunch with my childhood frnds. I said I also wanted to do MBA like them. They screamed at me and said "You like techincal stuff na!"
Without thinking I said yes. My friend said she was doing MBA cos she does not like technical.
Aaaaaaargh not again.

I am seriously at my lifes crossroads and I still dont know what to do :(